Discouraged

I'm considering taking a bit of a break from my blog. I'm not sure if
I'm going to do it or not, but I'm just feeling really discouraged by
all the "bad blogger" things I do.

It's not fun for me anymore to write something, and have it be a giant
mistake. I guess that's the curse of a medium-sized readership.

I don't always want to write happy-go-lucky posts about dishwasher fiascoes.

And even when I write happy-go-lucky posts, I get emails saying "uhhh
Jackie, that's not a good idea."

Why do there have to be consequences for every little thing I do? It's
frustrating. Sometimes I just want to be a girl who writes.

Higher echelons

I am seriously considering signing my name with Esquire at the end of all emails now.
Maybe then people will take me seriously.

:P

That is all.


**photo removed by advice of other, wiser people than I. :(

Burma... also known as Myanmar

What with all the news of late re: the goings-on of Burma/Myanmar... I began to itch wondering WHY we journalists call it "Burma, also known as Myanmar."

Actually, the first time I had heard this phrase was on Seinfeld... when J. Peterman runs away leaving Elaine in charge of the catalog. She eventually gets ahold of him (on a payphone, of course) and he tells her he's in Burma "but you might know it as Myanmar."

Ok, I've returned from my tangent. Anyways, in case you are curious...

"In 1989, the military authorities in Burma adopted the name Myanmar, a shortened form of the full name in the Burmese language, Myanma Naingngandaw.

The Burmese are one of a number of ethnic nationalities with different languages that make up the country. This decision was not approved by any sitting legislature in Burma and taken by the military junta without the consent Burma's democratically elected leaders. Canada continues to refer to the country as Burma. The people are 65% Burmese, 10% Shan, 7% Karen, 4% Rakhine and Chin, Kachin, Mon, Chinese, Indian and other minorities."

Apparently, the U.N., NATO, the New York Times and the National Geographic refer to it as Myanmar. However, Canada refers to it as Burma.

Thanks Judy Maddren!

Technical difficulties

Or....

Murphy's Law of Hosting.

I hosted the english half-hour of the afternoon show today.

My CBC debut of hosting. The job I have said I want to end up doing... assuming I have some degree of control over content and chasing stories I want to do.

How did it go?

The words "crash and burn" come to mind.

Ok, maybe that's a bit harsh. I did a pretty good job, I can acknowledge that. On the actual HOSTING bit? I can say I felt comfortable.

On the TECHNICAL BIT? Not so much.

The unique thing about our afternoon show out of Rankin Inlet is that there's no tech working the show with you. The host is in charge of pushing all the buttons, lining up the show on the computer and introducing it all. All while sounding relatively calm.

Me? Well, let's just say I had no clue what buttons I was supposed to push until 3 minutes before my intro. Seriously. (The whole affair was pretty spur-of-the-moment, but this one element made it particularly tricky).

I still didn't exactly understand what I was doing until right before my first item (after I played a song I loooove - - total control over song choice = best part of hosting). So the first... um... 15 minutes went pretty smooth. And then for some reason a sting (read: radio-speak for instrumental music used in-between items/stories/weather etc.) played when the item was supposed to. But I realized what happened right away, and reflex-pushed the button to stop it, then there was DEAD AIR.

Even when I was a wee child watching Full House I knew that DEAD AIR = BAD NEWS. It might as well be the cardinal sin of radio.

So DEAD AIR for probably 15 seconds? (I'm not really sure, it was long enough for me to start freaking out and clicking rapidly on the item I WANTED to play...)

I finally fixed it, and pressed the right button as 2 of my colleagues rushed into the studio, scared looks on their faces. Mine mirrored theirs.

During the next item (man it sounds like we have the longest show going... but we don't... it's only 30 minutes...but it felt like the shortest lifetime ever... if that makes any sense), our local producer said I had a wonderful voice for hosting, and we talked about how I really wanted to get back to my current affairs roots etc. It was great. She doesn't hand out praise very liberally, so it meant a lot to me.

Somehow we ended up losing about 2 minutes (doesn't sound like much, but makes all the difference in the world)... and I forgot to press the button that activates the theme (you are supposed to press it at 16:57:22) ... so co-worker came back in all a flutter asking if I remembered to start the theme (it runs UNDER the items at zero volume until the host is done saying the good-byes) and of course I didn't and then she worked some magic... and fixed it. The last item ended, we had 45 seconds to spare...

I started the extro... the signoff....

AND RAN INTO THE WALL.

How. Embarassing.

Again for you non-radio folks... the way the shows work is on every hour (and sometimes half-hour) there is a "wall" - it means your program is hijacked by regional or national HQ, for some sort of news. You cannot void the wall. You try to A-void the wall (ha-ha).

I did not manage to do that.

I ran head-first into it.

So between dead air, and running into the wall... and misplacing my pronouncer for one of the organizations two of the six times I had to say their name...

It wasn't exactly my finest moment in radio history.

I swear, if it wasn't for having to tech myself, I would have done much better. My reading was almost spot-on... and I enjoyed myself.

I guess it's just one of those things people will dig out of the archives to play at my humiliation when I'm rich and famous :P

Mission: Impossible

So I almost died this weekend.

Kinda, sorta, or at least genuinely feared for my life. That's kind of like dying, right?

So this weekend was the grand "ATV retrieval" party. Four of us left on two MONSTER ATVs at about 2pm on Saturday, GPS in hand, to go get the two stranded ATVs from last weekend's venture out on the land.

The first five minutes just about killed me.

You see, I may have grown up near the water, and I have pretty much always been ultra comfortable with it. That is, when it's in its liquid state. Different story when it's frozen. Or half frozen.

I swim like a fish, but from a very early age I've always had this fear of falling through the ice. Maybe it was mom's insistence we check the ice depth before skating on the pond behind my friend's house... maybe it was swimming lessons drilling into my head that you need at least 25 cm to drive a truck on the ice...**

So the whole driving on the ice, while there was easily anywhere from 3 inches to 2 feet of melted water on top??? Terrifying.

Now Mom, don't freak out. Turns out there is still like 17ft of ice BENEATH that 2 feet of water... but it's still terrifying. Pretty sure I spent the whole way there muttering "please oh please oh please oh please" and clutching onto the back rack like a madwoman.

The stranded ATVs were about 14 km away... and we made it half way before we had to turn back. The snow was just too melty, and there wasn't enough tundra to get there without stopping every 5 minutes to tow out one of the ATVs. And that half took us a good 2 hours. That's how wind-y the trip was, because we were on a constant search for tundra.

Not to mention having to stop every 20 min or so for either a photo shoot... or because the weather was feeling schizophrenic. Pretty sure we saw three seasons in 2 short hours. We had almost-blizzard snow (luckily only lasted about 5 minutes), we had hail (hurt like a mo-fo, little pellets whizzing at high-speed straight for your face?? Not fun), and we had beautiful warm sunshine. I even got a bit of sun (I could tell because when I got back, I noticed the freckles had made an appearance. Only happens with the first "tan" of the summer...)

The way back was less terrifying... I guess I figured if it held us on the way over, it would hold us on the way back. And I was right. But the boys decided to give'r on the home-stretch... and we all ended up soaked to the bone by the time we got back to town.

It was a good go of it though... and then we had a BBQ afterwards... delish steak, shrimp, grilled veggies, scallop potatoes and Pino Grigio... not to mention a round of Scattergories. All in all? A pretty sweet weekend.

Then I slept all day Sunday. Gotta keep the balance, doncha know?

**Of course, this seemed impossible "down south"... where winter's last less than 9 months...

Get yer melt on!

Normally when I walk out the front door at work, I bask in the little warm nook formed by the side of the building and the outside door.

I discovered it a couple months ago, when the sun was back in full-force, but the wind was still bitter cold.

It's a great little hidey-hole, sheltered from the wind and cold, where the entrance-way... by some freak chance... heats a little corner of Rankin Inlet... no matter the outside temperature.

Well today, for the first time, I left the warm shelter of that little alcove... to discover the rest of the world was just as warm.

Don't believe me?

It's amazing. It's useless to try and walk around town these days. I need to buy myself a kayak just to navigate my way to work.

In one short week, I think it's safe to say we lost a good 75% of fallen, plowed, piled snow. And in its wake, rivers that weave across our dear gravel roads, leaving deep cuts in their wake. In some places, the water is easily a foot deep. Kids (and my puppy, for that fact) happily romping in the water...

To the dismay of mothers (and pet owners) looking out the window.

Yes, dear blog readers... spring has sprung.

Sprung a giant leak, it seems :P

Fishing derby adventures...

So I had my first Great Northern Adventure this weekend.

And man oh man was it a good one. I think. Though really, I didn't have anything to compare it to...

So this weekend was the hamlet's Fishing Derby. I'd never really heard of a fishing derby before, but the general idea was to spend the May long weekend catching the biggest trout and cod you could get your hands on.

Out we went. Me and 4 others, atop two ski-doos and two Hondas, headed for "The Land". Our brave leader seemed to know what he was doing, and where he was going... so we followed suit... or tried to.

I can honestly say I have no idea where we were going, how we got there, or where we set up camp. I was told it was about 20 km from town... but as far as I knew it was Arctic Bay. That's how long it took to get there.

You see, this weekend, the ice and snow were in this funny little in-betweeny stage. Where it was half slush, half snow, half tundra, and half ice. Yes, that's too many halves :P

So for the first little while things were fine. We puttered along, the two ski-doos in front, and us two Honda-goers following the best we could. But about half way there we started to hit really soft snow, and the Hondas weren't a big fan of that. Lots of circling back, digging, pushing and swearing ensued... and we were good for a little while.

I have to say my favourite part of the trip was this patch of tundra we hit shortly thereafter. I was having a great old time, humming to myself (and the Honda), bouncing over the little hills and valleys... and then dove into a GIANT PUDDLE getting myself SOAKED (but pissing myself laughing the whole time).

And then... about 1 km from our final destination ...

We. Got. Stuck.

Reaaallly stuck.


By this time I had vacated my Honda post, and was riding on the back of Fearless Leader's ski-doo... but we hit some really deep, really soft snow. Even the ski-doos were getting stuck. So we eventually decided to leave the suckers behind (the Hondas, not the ski-doos), and blaze a trail to camp, and come back for the rest of the gear.

The whole ride... probably took a good 2 hours. At least. Pretty sad, seeing as the spot was "only" 20 clicks away.

Anyways, the five of us set up camp, three tents in total... the central figure being Fearless Leader's GIANT MANSION OF A TENT.

Seriously, this thing was HUGE. A sleeping area, a sitting/dining area ... where we set up a Coleman stove to keep our shivering bodies from turning into solid human-sicles.

Lots of cheese, char and other yummie goodies were consumed... leading to the grand scheme to drill a hole and set a trap for the night.

We had a HUGE auger, the boys had to stand on the two ski-doos to start it off... but by the time it was at waist-height... the bugger was STUCK. And NOT coming loose.


So by the time we all hit the hay that night (ps, if you have a good tent and warm sleeping bags, -10 is NOTHING... until you have to use "the facilities"), we had left our mark on the tundra: Hondas and augers stuck in snow/ice.

I went home the next day (my mom was still in town) but the rest of them stayed on until late Monday night.

They tell me they were able to pry the auger loose with little effort the morning I left, and drilled a couple more holes...

But despite their best efforts, didn't catch any fish.

The fishing derby winners were announced last night though, first prize in trout went to a fish 45 1/8 inches long...(prize = $3,000) and the largest cod was 25 5/16 in long (also a $3,000 prize).

So no prize money for me, I didn't catch any fish this weekend....

But I sure as hell caught a cold. I spent all day yesterday sniffling, and all day today hacking...
channeling my 80-year-old self, repeatedly asking people WHAAAT? and turning the volume on my phone/tv etc. up really high... because my ears are totally plugged.

Aw well, tis the price I pay for an awesome weekend. Thanks guys, for letting me tag along!