Serendipity

I don’t believe in fate. I never have, and probably never will. As some of you know, I’m just too much of a control freak to even consider the possibility that I don’t have the power to choose my own destiny. I believe the choices I make affect the future. But I also acknowledge I can only control my own future, not that of others. Autonomy, you know?

But even though I reject fate, and I reject destiny, and I reject other notions of pre-ordained paths….

I do believe in Serendipity. I believe it, because I’ve seen it. I believe it, because I’ve lived it. I believe it because it basically describes everything my life has been and continues to be.

The CBC has cut the reporter position in Rankin Inlet.

My job has been eliminated. And my time in Rankin is up.

And that’s where Serendipity comes in.

I’ve been ready to leave Rankin for several months now. That probably comes as little surprise, I don’t hide my unhappiness very well. There have been some good times, I recognize that whole-heartedly. I made some good friends, had a fulfilling relationship (that has since ended, as some may have guessed) and dipped my toes in the waters of news reporting.

But Rankin is not my home. I think maybe I knew that from the beginning. I still remember with painful detail how scared I was, how panicked I felt that first night in town. Looking around at my “cat-lady” apartment and feeling utterly alone. But I adapted, and I got swept up in the “new-ness” of it all… and I think genuinely enjoyed it for awhile. It was hard, but it was new.

But eventually the novelty wore off. And now it’s just hard.

And while the timing is maybe awkward (I found out when on holidays), I’m looking at the whole layoff as a closing-a-door/opening-a-window situation. My union’s got my back. The Mothercorp is paying my way out (and moving all my belongings), and they have to try to find me another position somewhere else before I am COMPLETELY jobless. And I’m on a recall list for the next 15 months.

Basically, what I’ve been trying to do on my own, finding another job somewhere else in the country, has just been accelerated on my behalf.

So don’t cry for me, (Argentina). I’m doing just fine. Maybe the pup and I will find a place we can really call home this time. A place with grass, and trees and some of the many familiarities I’ve missed this past year and a half.

It’s a bit scary, and things could move quite fast in the next month or so. But I’m ready. I’ve got serendipity on my side.

:)

Ow, Ow! My arm!

Remember? I'm mysterious!

Yeesh!

So I didn't talk about this widely for a couple reasons.

1. I didn't want to get MY hopes up, nor my friends and/or familys'.
2. I didn't tell my current employer, because it was kind of random, so I didn't want to write about it here, and have that be the way people found out.
3. I was really conflicted about the outcome, I didn't know what I wanted.
4. Maybe I WAS being a bit superstitious and didn't want to talk about it too much "or it wouldn't happen"
   

So here's the deal. A couple months ago... I was having a bad day or bad week or whatever, and was surfing the CBC Jobs board. I do this pretty regularly. Just to see what kind of options are out there, and where. I saw a posting for the type of job I was doing in Quebec City. In Halifax.

The kind of job I want to get back into doing. In the city I've often said I'd like to settle down in.

If there's anything I've learned over the past year and a bit is that I'm not a natural reporter. Sure, I can do it. Hell, I can do an okay job of it, but it's not where my heart lies. And I'm not cut out to spend the rest of my life in the North. That's just life. And I've accepted it.

So I filled out a couple forms, and pressed "Send."

Last week I heard from them. They wanted to interview me.

Not being one that's able to say NO... (especially to a potentially great opportunity), I had my interview on Wednesday. It went okay, but I didn't really feel qualified for the job. There was a significant technical aspect, and I am not a trained technician. Yet.

They interviewed four people, they were going to let me know today.

As the days wore on, I became more and more anxious and conflicted about the whole thing. Sure I have my moments, but I wasn't really ready to leave. I just bought a snowmobile. My sealift just arrived. Not to mention the fact that I have little interest in starting up another long-term LDR*.

So when the producer called this morning, I actually found myself repeating "say 'unfortunately,' SAY 'unfortunately'" in that little noggin of mine.

I got my wish...I think.

I didn't get the job**, and I'm actually un-naturally okay with it. I didn't really expect to get an interview, and now I have a little more experience in selection boards...

And like I said, I don't think I'm ready to leave. I've got a bunch of things coming up that I want to see through.

Spark has asked me to do another story for them, which should air mid-December.

I'm gearing up for my first Northern Christmas (MY TREE ARRIVED YESTERDAY HORRAY!).

And I'm planning my next vacation (which is ... 6? months away? Haha).

So yes, Clare, some day you will most likely say "I knew her back when..." but that day's not today. Nor is it tomorrow.

I'm still here, if you guys are. So don't give up on me yet :D


*Long-distance relationship
** They ended up hiring this guy who is a journalist with 18 YEARS of teching experience. No way I can compete with that lol.

Like waiting for ketchup to come out of the bottle

There's not much you can do but wait.

If you didn't catch that obscure reference, it was that Heinz ketchup commercial from the '70s (which I believe they brought back in my lifetime, because how else would I know THAT pop culture nugget) where a person is looking dumb-ly at an upside-down bottle of ketchup, waiting for the red condiment to grace their fries... while Carly Simon's "Anticipation" plays in the background.

So what am I waiting for? Some big news that I'm completely torn over. One half of me really really really wants one outcome... and the other half dreads it.

So today should be one drag of a day. My stomach twisted itself in knots as soon as I woke up this morning, and has been angrily cinching tighter over the past 48 minutes.

Here's hoping I survive the an-tic-a-paaation.

Post-op

As I sit writing this, I've got my laptop on one knee...

And my puppy resting on the other.

So Sully had THE BIG OPERATION yesterday, and of course bounced back immediately. The only thing he's been dealing with is how to sit down now that he's got a sore bum. So he kind of does this funny little shuffle thing and spreads his legs before settling down on the floor. He's been spending a lot of time on the bed I made him though. It's softer, and easier on the behind I gather.

I was told to keep the little guy from jumping around too much, but that's like near impossible... so I just try not to excite him too much. But if he wants to jump up on the couch, face it, it's going to happen.

Tonite it's just the two of us, laying in bed. I don't normally let the dog sleep with me, but I think both of us could use the company. The other boy in my life leaves for another week of duty travel tomorrow, and I'm a bit sad. The summer/fall is especially bad for him traveling, and he's leaving in a month for an almost month-long vacation. So I'm understandably missing him a bit.

This weekend was a very chill one for me. Hardly left the house except to take Sully to the vet and back. But I did manage to accomplish one major milestone....

My bedroom is FINALLY painted.

Yes. I know. This is incredibly sad. I originally started painting my bedroom in something like December of last year. But for one reason or another I never got around to finishing it. All that remained was two walls. I'd even done most of the taping at least 6 months ago. But never got down to finishing the job.

So it's done. And I'm sleeping in the spare room tonite because I don't like the smell of fresh paint. I think the only thing left for me to do is try and fashion a set of curtains/drapes. Going to be tricky seeing as I don't own a sewing machine. But hey, if I was able to make a dog bed out of a strip of fleece, I can probably do this as well.

I'll have to post a photo of the end product if/when my room is ever presentable.

I'm a wanderer...

I am thinking of starting a health card collection.
I've used all three of these health cards in the past year.

I would have more to add... if I had of been old enough to get one/hold on to one (in the case of New Brunswick and Nova Scotia) ... or if I hadn't been a student in Ontario... because I just kept my PEI one then.

Maybe my new life goal should be to accumulate as many as possible. Hmm.

Dear anonymous writer...

A question on Megan's blog got me thinking...

I don't know if I would have had the ability... or "soundness" of mind to answer that question a couple of months ago (yes, hard to believe I have been here almost 5 months)...

Actually, maybe I'm just in a good mood today.

Either way. I have my answer.

Why did I move to Nunavut?

Well this may be a cop-out answer... but "why not"?

I'm young, eager, and not really scared of the cold (not now that I have my Canada Goose parka). I have traveled parts of Europe, lived in France... 5 of our provinces and so... a window opened to the north and I crawled through.

It's cold.

It's remote...

But most days it's pretty darn cool too (yah yah, I'm punny)

I won't be here forever. But who knows what the next few years will bring. A year ago the north was a fleeting thought, and I remember thinking of it as a place where you "pay your dues" before moving on.

I don't really think that anymore. It's not about paying dues, it is about getting to do things I might not have the chance to do "down south." It's about having weekends off, and being a full-time reporter at 22. It's about holding onto this experience with both hands, squinting against the wild snow and wind.... and coming out the other end panting, out of breath, and totally exhilarated.

Inching closer by moving farther away

Maybe I am just being a giant emo kid over this because I'm always the mover, never the move-ee.

So I guess I'm just not used to being the one left behind. And maybe as we get older, we stop deluding ourselves into thinking we'll see these people again.

I miss my former roomies from Ottawa - - we lived together for 4 years. And I'm only realizing right now that I have no idea when I'm going to be seeing them again, and it kills.

I miss my family, even though I've not even left the island yet. My sister is sitting on the bed next to me, my parents preparing some feast downstairs. It's my last night in town and I don't want to go. And instead of taking the most of it, I have spent the day either in bed, or on the couch, curled up like a homesick fetus.

I'm such a freaking bleeding heart. People move on. Literally, figuratively. All that. I'm just not that good at it.

Debbie Downer no longer

I am one happy girl today.

I walked to work in my MOON BOOTS... while wearing my SWIRLY TWIRLY GUMDROP HAT ... and sporting my German-Kmart turquoise scarf.

Yep, that's right, Jackie's got some new clothes. Well not really new... just "haven't seen in awhile and so they feel new."

So yes, my stuff arrived yesterday... at least some of it did. Two of my three crates anyways... and when they said "crates" I expected a lot more than actually arrived (and began to worry that I had overdone it a bit in terms of moving...). But I'm relieved actually. It was probably 10 boxes, and most of my furniture. But it appears there's no real method to the madness that is "crated" moving... because while I have a kitchen table and four chairs... I don't actually have the LEGS for my table. And while I have my desk, book case and file cabinet... I have the BOTTOM of my desk chair... but not the back. So it's more like a desk-stool than a desk-chair.

But all in all, a good shipment of belongings. But the items I was MOST excited to see were...(in no particular order)

1. Moon boots
2. Box o' wine
3. My "art" - - aka two prints I picked up in Quebec City, one of a lily and the other of a poppy... both green-tinted (of course)
4. My desk (my laptop was being a huge nomad of late)
5. My wireless router

I am finally starting to feel at home. And it feels good.

The saga continues....

I just received this email from my moving company.

This is, of course, after I was told that half of my stuff ACTUALLY arrived a week ago.

Hi Ms. S*

We have just e-mail J* per as the delivery of 2 crates tomorrow morning.
Please let me know when "Bing" (One of Jack's helpers) would be able to
unpack for you. Mat at First Air says that the 3rd crate might leave Sunday,
keep you finger cross. We will verify with B* at M & T Enterprises on
Monday November 12th if your last crate has arrived. Thank you for being so
patient. Have a great day.

Best regards,

M* L*

So clearly, my movers have no clue what's going on. Reassuring eh?

And while writing this... I just got a second email, with the subject heading:

CALL B* AT M & T ENTERPRISES

VERY IMPORTANT

PLEASE CALL B* AT M & T ENTERPRISE, SHE IS AWAITNG YOUR CALL. B* IS THERE UNTIL 5 P.M. TONIGHT AND IN TOMORROW AT 8:30 A.M.

Her number is 867-645-2***

M* L*

Please, let us all note how I have been ignoring this woman the whole time, and so it was 100% necessary to write the entire conversation in caps. Because I might ignore it otherwise. Because I don't actually want my stuff.

All I can do is shake my head and hope that next time I move, I will be working with less incompetent people.

*I am reverting to initials. Because even though I'm incredibly annoyed, I'm still a nice person.

Ex-cuse me?

So I just found out that HALF my stuff has been sitting at the Rankin
airport since OCTOBER 30TH! And do you THINK my movers told me? Do you
THINK I got a call? Do you THINK that half of my pop has probably
exploded?

I wish I even had the adjectives to describe how annoyed I am right now.

I am just plain SICK of measuring out cups in tablespoons. I am tired
of wearing the same two pairs of pants. I want a glass of wine. Is
that too much to ask? Really.

More delays

So I'm in a fight with the corporate moving company.

I packed up all my worldly goods in Quebec City on the 14th of September. That's right, the 14th.

Then had a week in PEI, and then three weeks in Iqaluit.

The idea being that I would arrive in Rankin Inlet, and VERY shortly my stuff would arrive. We even booked my tickets OUT of Iqaluit based on when the moving company said the crates would be in. They told me it would be there the beginning of next week.

So the beginning became the end... and then I find out that my stuff hasn't even reached Winnipeg yet. And that it should hit Winnipeg by Friday of last week.

I'm sitting here like... uh... WHAT? It's been OVER a month, and it's STILL not in Winnipeg? I mean, if the delay had of been due to weather, so be it. I understand that nothing went in or out of Rankin ... basically after I arrived. Fair enough. But this is outrageous. Last time I checked Winnipeg and Quebec City were NOT that far apart. I'm sooo annoyed.

And so now, I have an email from them saying that my stuff should (EMPHASIS ON THE WORD SHOULD) arrive on Sunday (one "crate" that is) and the rest next Tuesday. I'm seriously in doubt of this though. What annoys me the most, I think, is just the fact that by the time my stuff arrives I will have been living out of a suitcase for almost two months. That's gross. And I only actually brought one suitcase of clothes. The other one was packed with my duvet and my Canada Goose jacket.

So I'm a bit annoyed. And tired of wearing the same skanky pairs of jeans (yes I washed them, but I'm getting bored of them). And wish I had brought more socks, because I appear to be gradually losing them between the couch cushions...

*pout

Moving is hard

So I've arrived, but to little fanfare.

I was sooo ready to arrive, and now that I have, it seems just a tad anti-climatic.

My apartment is HUGE, I will post pictures in due course. It's got more closets then any one person could possibly need.... everywhere I look there are more and more closets. Which is pretty cool. I also have my own personal store room, and deep freeze. Hello buying in bulk!!!!
The only thing is.... I believe it was decorated with a single, 40-year-old cat lady in mind.
Not that there are actually any cat-evidence to be seen... it just fits into my idea of who they decorated for.

Actually that's not fair. It's just not very "me" yet. But I will fix that, I'm determined. I just HAVE to get rid of this pink/purple reeds and lilypads border that snakes its way around my apartment.

Oh, and the mallard-art in my living room.

But I have a sweet sofa and armchair. They are dark maroon, almost brown (I think the colour is called ox-blood?) leather. And they are soooo comfy.

But I don't have cable yet, so they won't be thoroughly enjoyed for awhile.

How does one get cable up north anyways? I tried searching "rankin inlet + cable" into Google to no success. Hints?

I really can't wait for my stuff to arrive. Rumor has it, that should be this week. I've already re-arranged the spare room, and decided it will double as my "office/study" (oo lala)

Not sure what I will do with my dining room table/chairs. The ones that are here kind of go with the other furniture (but then again, they don't really go with "ME" so maybe I'll switch them ujp all the same.

I am currently waiting to figure out if my co-worker is coming to rescue me/take me grocery shopping. I think maybe I got the message mixed up, because I thought she said she was coming to check up on me... but its been a couple hours, and I got the impression she'd be here in like an hour from when I arrived. Meh, I give it another 10 mintues, and I'm going out to the North Mart.

Oh, and Tina, I tried to take a pic of the North Mart in Iqaluit, on my way out, but the pictures suck (I think, I was in a very dirty car at the time...). But "Kate Nova" lives in Iqaluit, and takes GREAT photos. You might want to enlist her help.

Peace out.

fighting through the fog

As may have been evident from my "the phone music won't turn off" post(ing) I'm feeling a little "cotton-headed" today. Ok, and maybe yesterday too.

Haha, no, I'm not trying to excuse the "dishwasher fiasco 2007" (because I insist I was feeling FINE at the time). I just feel like I'm fighting through some serious brain cotton-candy to actually get anything done.

Maybe I'm just tired... physically tired, and a little bit mentally tired. Stressing over going home for Christmas, and the serious investment that will have to take place in order for that to happen. Tired of living out of a suitcase (as of Sunday, it will have been a month that I've been delicately rotating between three pairs of jeans)... tired of being in transit. I really just want to settle in ... cook myself a real meal, and (gasp!) have a glass of wine. That would just be heaven.

In other news, I now DO know when I'm going to be making the move to Rankin. Rumor has it (according to my station manager) I'll be flying out of here on Monday. My worldly possessions will arrive sometime between Monday and Friday.

Man I can't wait. I (for some odd reason) crave Uncle Ben's rice.

*I feel it's important to note that the only cartoon-y photo (or non-cartoon-y photo) of "brain fog" or "cotton head/brain" I could turn up on a Google search was from a menopausal-symptoms website. Hmmmm.... ye-ah. I think I've got a couple years.

Off to the races!

I really had to resist making the title of this entry "off to the (dog sled) races."

My Grandfather's influence is just becoming too much.

So tomorrow is the big day. I begin PART ONE of my multi-legged journey up north.

I've been packing most of the day, and I was actually really proud of myself because I had really got a good headstart on the process... probably one of my least favourite things to do in the world (close tie with UNPACKING, unfortunately). BUT the whole ordeal was made MUCH more fun because I'm a total gadget freak, and went crazy at Linens and Things, buying those vacuum-shrinkwrap bag thingies... (CHECK OUT THE HILARIOUS COMMERCIAL HERE!!) so I spent the morning sorting, the afternoon sucking, and now have two mostly-full suitcases, and a plethora of knick-knacks that will be thrown into my neatly packed baggage at the last minute...

Tomorrow I leave from Charlottetown, take a break in Montreal (gag me with a spoon. I hate the Montreal Trudeau airport. No seats, no food, no fun) for two hours, and then head to Ottawa where I spend the night.

Then Tuesday, I start the second leg... flying from Ottawa to Iqaluit via Canadian North... where I'll take another little break...

This one lasting about a month or so.

I am (thankfully) being eased into the whole living-up-north-working-for-CBC sort of thing. I'll be meeting, greeting, and getting familiar with how things work at the Iqaluit station for a few weeks before going down to Rankin.

It's a bit of a relief, to be honest. This is one of those situations where I'd MUCH rather dip my pinkie toe in the (freezing sub-zero, iceberg-y) ocean than cannonball right in.

But I also am reallllly looking forward to getting to Rankin. To check out my apartment, be reunited with all my worldly possessions...meet the folks I've been chronic-ly blogging with for the past month or so...

OOOoo AND try out my swanky dishwasher. Can't wait!!

Grampie's Chevy and a pocketful of dreams

Pretty sure my parents are saints.

Writing from Edmonston, NB today. The Quality Inn just off the highway, to be precise. The rents and I drove from Quebec City laaate last night, checking into the hotel at about 3am....after an insane whirlwind of a day.

Why in the world I went to work yesterday is beyond me. My movers were going to arrive at 2. I had arranged to get off work at 12. Two hours, the perfect amount of time to sort things etc. But then the company calls me the day before and asks if they packers could come earlier to get things rolling. They were coming at 1230.

And of course I promised coworkers we'd do one last pizza run before leaving...

So the packers arrive on time, but I do not. My poor parents (still recovering from driving from PEI the day before...a mere 10 hrs) trying to direct them what was to go, what was to stay (without really having a clue)...

And I arrive panting, out of breath at my door at just after 1... totally discombobulated. And panicking because I don't know how the hell my life got to this point... and what I am supposed to do with 4 movers who are throwing (albeit gently) all my belongings into boxes.

It was chaos.

Anyways, they did their thing and were out the door in just three hours... (incredible, these people have super powers) but it wasn't until significantly later (we're talking 8) that we finally got on the road (me sans the gelato I had promised myself I was going to have prior to leaving).


Me. Mom. Dad. and Shamus (the guinea pig) elbow to elbow in Grampie's Chevy. Cozy is a nice way of describing it. But we made it. We hit the road again in an hour or so... en route to PEI. A small portion of my worldly belongings in the back of the Chevy and a pocketful of dreams.

Two thousand kilometers in three days. My parents rock.

Its official....

I'm moving to Nunavut.

That's right. Nunavut. As though picking up and moving to Quebec City... where I know no one at all wasn't enough...

Now just 4 months into my CBC-QC career... I'm off again... but this time I'll at least be staying put for a little while longer. Probably two years. Which seems like a lifetime right now. But when I sit and think about it, two years ago... I was still working at Green Gables (ok that also feels like a lifetime ago)... going into third year... but though it feels like so long in the past... the actual time has, of course, flown.

And thus starts another "I'm away from the rest of the world, so here's a catchall, you-find-it-yourself kind of update/blog."

It seemed to work well for a little while with the France trip, until I got too busy traveling abroad and the like to post on a regular basis, but hopefully I'll be a little better about it this town around.

Likely not though, given the number of half-completed journals I have lying around my personal effects archives.

So I move in 3 weeks. Insane. But I'm going home for a week first... so I have 2 weeks to pack up my life here, somehow get some/all of it... as well as myself... to PEI, and then I'll fly out from Charlottetown to Iqaluit (wow my spell-checker doesn't recognize that word haha) where I'll live for a month... before heading to my new hometown of Rankin Inlet.

At least it's close to the ocean...ish... right ??? That's what I've been whining about all summer long here in Quebec City haha.

I have big plans for the weekend, going to head out to MEC where I will spend a nice part of my overtime paycheque... likely on long underwear and disgustingly warm boots (-100 ... my thermometer only goes down to -40... ) But I have already made my first purchase for the northern life... my parka.

Welcome to the world of "Canada Goose" were everything is ultra-insulated down jackets... in either BLINDING red or yellow... or suspiciously inconspicuous colours like beige, white (both the colour of snow...) or black (the colour of... well.. night).

I wanted the black... but then I found a web site where they had the last year's model on for over two hundred dollars off... so I bought that instead (200 including shipping is WAY better than over 400), even though I don't really like the colour as much. That's my first form vs. function experience so far. But if I really hate it... or it doesn't fit (they only had one size... and its bigger than I was going to get) at least I can return it without too much trouble.