Canada Post: Epic Fail

Dear Canada Post.
My name is Jackie S. Quire and I live in a remote community in the Eastern Arctic.

Mailing things from the north can be difficult, not to mention expensive. And I understand you have to charge for your services. You are a crown corporation, after all... and crown corporations have to stand on their own and not expect handouts from the federal government, even when peoples' livelihoods are at stake...

Oops. Sorry. Got off on a tangent there.

Where was I? Oh yah. Charge for your services.

So I understand you have to make people pay to send letters and packages across our fair country and around the great wide world. And I've come to terms with the fact that you are going to raise the price of stamps even if it's not necessary. Even if gas prices aren't at their peak (I just buy your PERMANENT STAMPS IN BULK mwa hahah).

But what I DON'T understand is why you've gone and changed your fraking Expresspost envelopes. Understand, just for a moment, how bloody expensive it is to ship any kind of package from the north. Or TO the north. Family members don't even send me birthday presents anymore because it's too pricy to send them by mail. The ONLY saving grace has been Expresspost envelopes. Where for a nominal fee (your choice of either 10 or 20 dollars) you can stuff a padded envelope with whatever nicknacks and do-dads your heart desires.

But now, NOW you've gone and messed everything up. And REPLACED the padded envelopes with PAPER BAGS.


Paper. Bags.

This is ridiculous. You can't fit anything into a paper bag without it ripping. They don't come with the patent-pending Glad-flex stretchiness. THEY. ARE. PAPER.

And if I WANTED to mail a package in a PAPER envelope, I would... you know... BUY THE BLOODY EXPRESSPOST LETTER ENVELOPES.

NOT the Expresspost package envelopes.

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?


Jackie S. Quire.


Anonymous June 16, 2009 at 10:54 AM  

While this is definately a fail, i think that your assessment of EPIC fail for this particular situation might be overdoing it.


The Epic Fail Police

Jackie S. Quire June 16, 2009 at 11:18 AM  

Dear Epic Fail Police:

My humblest apologies if I pulled the trigger a little too fast on the EPIC-ness of this particular fail.

I will strive to be more vigilant in my epic-ness in the future.


Jackie S. Quire (FAIL)

Way Way Up June 16, 2009 at 12:17 PM  

Mock the CEO on your blog.....it worked for me.

I buy those bulk stamps too...MUA-HA-HA-HA!!

towniebastard June 16, 2009 at 12:18 PM  

Ah yes, thanks for mentioning this. I put my dad's Father's Day/Birthday gifs in an Express Post envelope yesterday. I noticed it looked much cheaper so I asked for the one with the bubble wrap.

"They've changed them," the guy at the desk told me. "Those are actually much worse now."

After examining it, I agreed. Of course, the envelope I used ripped when stuffing it and required tape to hold it together.

The new envelopes appear to be emphasizing a green theme. I believed they're made of recycled material. Which is nice and all, but it's not entirely helpful to the environment if they're so flimsy you have to tape them up a lot to make sure they don't shred during Canada Post's delicate transportation process.

Lindsay Niedzielski June 16, 2009 at 3:15 PM  

I didn't know this until I red (is it read or red?....anyways) this post - I think it IS EPIC!!! My parents use the express post envelopes tons to send us up stuff, and they STUFF them full....you literally poke a hole in it and it explodes!!! So just another way we are getting screwed...nice.

Jackie S. Quire June 16, 2009 at 3:29 PM  

Actually, I'm going to use my investigative journalist super-power and try to get an interview on CBC about it.

Sometimes I just love my job :)