Life's hard

I'm having a life-conflict right now.
I've been given the choice to leave my job and move back down south and for a variety of reasons turned it down.
Lack of a job on the other end is one reason, the boy is another, but overall while I have my moments (and right now is one of them) ... I am not ready to leave.

So I've worked my ass off this past week, "trying to make it work" and external forces are not making it easy on me.
And I may or may not have come to a breaking point.

Someone treated me unfairly today. This is not the first time, nor do I expect it to be the last. But it was just so uncalled for.
I asked a favour, and exhausted all other options before asking said favour, and I got shat on.
And it's just so unfair.
In a rare moment of assertion, I stood up for myself, but I really don't know if it did any good. I don't feel like it did.

All I can say, is thank goodness for Sully.
I walked in the door this afternoon, tears in my eyes and that little waggy tail made me smile so hard they dropped down my cheeks.
I probably don't treat him as good as I should. I should probably take him on more walks.
But he doesn't care. He just loves me unconditionally as long as I feed him and let him out to pee. Why can't everyone be like that?

I think I'm going to go give him a hug.

Jackie and the all-around frustrating Tuesday

I hate Bell.
I hate television.
I hate things I do not know how to operate.
I hate coaxial cables.

I hate mittens that cost 44.00 at the Northern, and aren't even all that nice.
I hate rain that is so cold it feels like snow. Or hail. Or some other miserable wintery thing.
I hate making my puppy go out in that kind of weather, because I know it's cold, and I know he'll just hide under the stairs and I'll have to go out in the brrrr and untangle him.

I hate lightbulbs I can't change on my own.
I hate wiping the counter.
I hate taking clothes out of the dryer.
I hate taking foodmail boxes out to the garbage can. They just blow away anyways. So why bother?

I hate First Air for cancelling their flights out of here.
I hate Calm Air for not being able to offer Aeroplan seats anymore.

I hate that I just seem to have called it quits on my half-finished painting job.

I hate student loans.
I hate credit cards.

I hate the "I want, I need" itch.
I hate the remedy for feeling like life sucks is to buy things online, and have them arrive 3 weeks later.

I hate being away from my friends.
I hate being away from my family.
I hate having grown up so fast and for pushing too hard too fast and too strong.

I hate that I never took a break between high school and university, and university and "the career"

I hate that I feel like this right now, and am depressing the hell out of everyone that is reading this. But too bad. If it sucks, don't read it.

A serious case of the schmoops

Today can't be Monday.

I understand that it is the day that followed Sunday (and the Superbowl)...

and precedes Tuesday...

But I just am not in the mood for it to be Monday.

I don't feel like interviewing people today... don't feel like writing up stories, don't really feel like sitting here at the office at all...

I am antsy, minutely frustrated, uncomfortable (my back feels like it needs a good stretch, but my desk chair doesn't permit) not to mention unfairly static-y.

I refuse to look in the mirror because I will just be horrified at what my hair has become since I left the house this morning (that's what happens when you combine extreme dryness with extreme cold... a swirly-twirly gumdrop hat ... and a fleece zip-up.) I feel like my entire head is one of those electricity-globes.

I will now entertain you with a photo that not only sums up my schmoopy-ness, but also demonstrates what a swirly-twirly gumdrop hat actually is.

(For all you sad, depraved folkies who do not know)