Puppies need "regularity" too

So, I have a fun story for y'all.

It's a puppy story. And I know how y'all like puppy stories.

Okay, maybe it's just me who loves puppy stories. But whatever. They are fun. And I've not had enough fun posts on the blog as of late :) So here we go:

So I was hanging out with the pup the other nite. When I say "hanging out" I mean the pup was out of "his area" (during the day and at night he's got limited access to the house - he hangs out in the laundry room) and bouncing around all over the place. The little beast has finally figured out how to play "fetch" and now it's all he does. Which is fine. I like to throw things, haha.

So I'm throwing platypus. I'm throwing flamingo. I'm throwing green ball. I'm throwing little white dog. He's throwing platypus up in the air and catching it again in his mouth. I've enrolled him in a travelling circus. We're having a grand old time.

So he comes up on the couch, and drops a toy in my lap and looks at me. I look back. He nudges it closer. "Duh hoomin, throe dah toi!" I notice he's got this funny little reverse-mustache thing going on - aka... he's got this bizarre substance on his bottom lip, like a soul-patch, but it goes all the way across the front of his bottom lip. So a reverse-stache. So I wipe it off.

The substance is like a beige/brown/grey colour. And it's sticky. Not like sugar-sticky... but flour + water sticky.

So pup and I go on a mission to find what the hell he's gotten into. I love the animal, but he's notorious for eating things he shouldn't and chewing random bits of plastic and other not-intended-for-puppy-consumption objects. But we can't find anything. So I figure he's eaten all of whatever it was. 

So that's fine. Life goes on.

*smack, lick smack*

Puppy is smacking his lips. Why? Lord knows. I look inside his mouth... and find that THAT SAME CREEPY STICKY STUFF HAS COATED THE ROOF OF HIS MOUTH AND HIS TEETH.

And not like a thin coat. I'm talking a half a centimeter thick coat of sticky-browny-beige gook.

Now I'm freaked out. Some mysterious substance is *everywhere* inside him. Coating his insides with its stickyness. Ew. Ew. EW! So I do the un-thinkable. I reach my finger inside his mouth and scoop out as much as I can. EW.

I examine the substance. Okay, it's definately sticky, but not runny. It's light brown. And probably STRANGEST OF ALL...

It. Has. No. Scent.

That's right, no smell whatsoever. I'm baffled. I have no clue what in the world this is. I am a little worried too because who knows if it's poisonous for puppies or not... and I can't find the source ANYWHERE. There's nothing mysterious on the floor, nothing.

So I cut my losses, get out the little travel-toothbrush, and scrub his little canines like there's no tomorrow. Problem solved.

The night goes on. And what do you know, about an hour later, he comes back smacking again, and I open his mouth... and the crud IS BACK! So the mystery-crud is still around. And the only thing I could think of was this bone he found outside that I'd been letting him chew on. I figured it was harmless, and he seemed to enjoy it, but I don't like the look of this twisted-marrow gunk. And that's the only thing he'd been chewing on that was different from normal.

So I threw them out. Enough was enough. And I got out the toothbrush and scrubbed the inside of his mouth again. And go to leave him in his area for the night... but because I'm paranoid and exhausted and scared he might die... I took him in my bed for a couple hours. And he didn't seem himself. He seemed more reserved than usual. I was very very worried.

Who knew those bones contained poison-marrow?!?

Now of course, the puppy was fine the next day. And I just kind of shrugged off the whole event.

Until Sunday. Easter Sunday. And I've cooked a "cute turkey" (that's what the checkout girl said about my chicken at the Northern haha) and stuffing and spuds and the like for the boy and I. As we sit down to dinner, the pup is milling about, and starts licking the top of the lobster-pot that's been on my kitchen floor for months now. I wonder to myself what he's licking...

Only to remember how a week ago, a long-forgotten bottle of powder-Metameucil fell from my counter and spilled onto the floor. I had cleaned it up... but didn't notice a bunch had fallen on the lobster-pot.

No smell. Brown-y beige in colour. Sticky when wet.

And my dog, best-in-show specimen that he is... decided it was a tasty snack. Poor thing. He probably consumed a human-sized portion of the powder... no wonder he felt a bit green in the gills.

But he sure didn't have to put much effort into the next day's "deposit!"