Too Nice

So apparently I need to step up my bitchiness factor.

I never in my life thought that would be necessary, because trust me, I have my snarky moments...

But I received an unintentional piece of advice this morning, and it struck a chord with me.

I had an issue with one of my clips last night...following hours of stuggling with my work computer, which IMHO is a rotting piece of monkey feces.

ANYWAYS, I sent the clip, crossing my fingers it would reach Iqaluit safe and sound.

Well it didn't, and I didn't know this until I got in this morning. So first thing this morning (in a much better mindset than the previous evening) I set out to figure out what the heck made my interview come out as stereo instead of mono. I figured it out, sent it again. All was not lost, they could use it on the newscasts this afternoon and evening. No biggie.

But I got a phone call from one of the tech guys, and he says to me "You've been BAAAD".

Naturally, I'm extremely confused. I don't THINK I've been bad, but I screw up all the time so while confused, I'm certainly not surprised.

I tell him the sob story of my dumb computer and my even dumber messed-up-settings... and he interrupts me and says "Why didn't you tell me about your computer before?"

Now I've been not-so-subtly whining about my work computer to my co-workers for weeks. But I just thought you make due until the stupid thing breaks down OR we get new Dalet (our audio-editing software that rumour has it will require brand new computers for all!) OR I leave the North. Personally, I think the stupid machine has it in for me, and will die the MOMENT I get on a plane southwards.

And to be honest, said tech can be a little brash at times, but we seem to have worked out a system where I summon all my patience, and so does he, and some how we get troubleshooting done.

My response was that I didn't want to bug him about my stupid computer. Which is true. I don't bug him unless I really am screwed. Also, I am stubborn and don't like to ask for help.

What does he say?

"If you are ever going to get anywhere you are going to have to step up the Bitch-factor"

And you know what, he's right. Sometimes, I just let people walk all over me.

I can't say "No" and I'm constantly reassuring the other people in my life, trying to take strain off them... and I just end up carrying everyone else's loads. And it sucks.

I think the worst part is that (some) people just don't CARE. They expect everything and give nothing.

So, here. Instead of whining, I will take a page from my new Bitchiness Day Calendar... and send a message to a friend.


Dear friend: If you intend to come to my house and stay the night, please don't just send me an instant message telling me when you'll be in. You actually didn't even ask if you could stay, just assumed since it was okay to ask me to pick you up, drop you off, house you and be ignored while you spend time with your family on the way OVER here... you can do the same on the way back. Maybe I have things I want to do. Maybe I don't want to have to clean my house again. Maybe I just want to be alone tonite, or with the boy alone tonite. Maybe I don't want to entertain. But because you need me to, I will. But hey, could you at least call? Or at least stay online long enough to chat, so it doesn't seem like you are just using me for transportation and lodging?



KOTN November 27, 2008 at 12:37 PM  

They only call it the "bitch factor" when it is a woman... otherwise, you are being assertive. I wouldn't be so nice if I were you.

Jackie S. Quire November 27, 2008 at 1:18 PM  

You are totally right, KOTN. I actually meant to write something about ASSERTIVENESS vs. BITCHINESS vs. AGGRESSIVENESS... but saw something shiny and got distracted.

No matter what you call it, it's something I have to work on. Both professionally AND personally.

Robyn November 28, 2008 at 10:46 AM  

awww, what happened to Snarky Sharkey?? :P