12/13/08

Cold-be-gone

No, not in the -35-degree-weather kind of cold-be-gone... but rather a new power-team that I've developed to help kick the common cold.

First, you need a friend who's moving away and who has a disgustingly large sample of trial-size Advil Cold & Sinus.

Now generally, I wouldn't go around singing the praises of a cold medicine. I actually, generally don't believe in the stuff. Like Cold FX. You can tell me all you want that it helps. But as far as I'm concerned it's just placebo effect. Same with echinacea.

But dude? This stuff works. I woke up this morning at 4am, with snot running down my face, unable to swallow for all the mucus... popped a couple Advil Cold & Sinus and I was good as new.

Gotta love it.

Now the trick is if you don't pop one or two every 4 hours like clockwork, all the pipes fill up again and you're back where you started. But that's all right.

Second, you need to have had a hippie vegetarian live in your apartment before you, and leave random boxes of tea behind (and rice noodles).

Because among the boxes of chinese green tea, sits THIS.

The miracle-tea.

Now the jury's still out on whether or not the tea does anything other than keep you lubricated (aka fluid-filled) but it's got a nice little gingery taste, and smells like mint. What else could you ask for when you feel like a monkey turd? And the box says it helps with the runny-nose bit, so why not?

Also, it helps when your work springs for the expensive brand-name Kleenex. The stuff I bought on sealift is SCRATCHY. It's like using one-ply toilet paper to blow your nose. No fun. Turns out that is just one thing you don't want to scrimp on.

PS, can you tell I'm kinda sick ??? I'm all rambly about cold medicine. Man what has this blog become???

2 comments:

Way Way Up December 13, 2008 at 3:16 PM  

I swear by CS gas myself. The seal of my gas mask slipped during Basic Training and those white gas clouds cleaned my congested sinuses right out in about 3 seconds. No lasting side effects either.....or at least that's what they told me.

djdk December 15, 2008 at 8:03 AM  

haha CS gas, you should market it as a cure/crowd suppressant. I think the best idea is to keep a constant supply of tylenol, which I prefer to NSAIDs like advil because it is less harsh on your already weak system. I find pseudoephedrine works well for congestion. But if you take all those chemicals you'll just feel worse later!

So I think the best idea is a mickey of whiskey and a nap :D