I can haz cash bonus?

It's not often these days that I get a chance to touch the velvety fine material of newsprint.

Real newsprint.

Daily paper newsprint.

The exception being when my Dad sends clippings from the dailies down south and sends them my way.

But then it's not fresh. The paper gets brittle with age, you see. The ink dries. And that ink saturation's what makes the paper so smooth, so delicious.


So I been browsing some of the southern dailies since I've arrived. And this caught my eye.

And really. What a sweet deal. I'm going to work that if/when the CBC gets their bridging funding.

I think it's just genius to use bailout money to reward executives for a job well done. It's not every year you have to go to the White House for extra cash. It's not every decade you lose 61 billion in ONE QUARTER. It's obviously time to celebrate! Cash bonuses for all! In fact, now that you have 170 billion in strings-free money... you might as well just start burning it!

Horray! Cash bonfires! You know they burn a lot brighter and warmer than regular bonfires. It's true. Try it if you don't believe me! In fact we'll all start heating our houses with dollar bills in a couple months, because it'll be cheaper than all other home heating alternatives (except, maybe, my parents' new pellet stove).

In other news, I'm really disappointed to read this. The idea of commercials on CBC Radio gives me a really bad taste in my mouth. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe it's a fear of change, maybe it's because we were always warned about the dangers of advert-contamination and its affect on fair and balanced reporting.

But really, we've had ads on TV, on the CBC.ca website for some time now. The world's not come to an end. Papers have almost ALWAYS run ads. They are still capable of quality reporting.

So when you think about it, CBC radio is actually an anomaly.

But still. I don't really like it.

But maybe that's just me.


Megan March 16, 2009 at 1:40 PM  

They were talking seriously about running ads on CBC during the summer of 1999, when I was working for Maritime Noon in Halifax. We did a phone-in about it. I think we said that the news was sponsored by Burger King and the phone lines were sponsored by Pizza Hut, or something silly like that.

We were making fun of the idea, of course. This was shortly after the technicians' strike, when the station rebranded itself as "Glitches and More".

I hate the ads on the CBC website. I called to complain about them when they appeared. Still, I understand why they're there. You cannot put out a quality product without having some way to pay the bills. I definitely don't want the CBC to go under.

Mongoose March 16, 2009 at 2:22 PM  

It's not just you. I don't want ads on CBC radio either. Not that I listen to CBC radio, of course, but that's because I don't have a radio. If I did, I'd listen to CBC radio, and I don't want to be hearing any ads. If I wanted ads, I'd listen to one of the other stations. CBC has always been the "smarter" radio station(s) compared to all the trash that's on the air... I hope they keep it that way.

And on the topic of the bailout cash bonuses, Obama apparently vowed to fight them, but at the same time, they're launching a shuttle mission, too. So I think this "burning cash" attitude is pretty pervasive to the US, not just an anomaly.

Anonymous March 17, 2009 at 8:46 AM  

I have not subscribed to cabletelevision for 15 years for one reason. Can't stand commercials!
As an avid CBC radio listener for the past decade , ads would definitely turn me off. I can't stand ad jingles or any subliminal messages that I did not give permission to be broadcasted. If I need to "buy" something I know how to do my research to find the best product - your ads will not convince me otherwise.