Dear HP laptop:
I have to admit, I have grown fond of you. I took our relationship for granted all those months when things were good. We got along fine, we had some good times. I know. I remember them.
But then, I began to neglect you. You got dingy. You got dirty. And I wanted to spice up our relationship a bit. Give you a makeover, of sorts. I hear you clean up nice.
So I set to work. I used a q-tip to get between the fine crevices of your keyboard. I polished your screen till it shone like new. But try as I might, I couldn't rid you of that niggly little white hair (are you getting old laptop? I'm so sorry to hear that. I'll still love you when you're grey) underneath your space bar. You know, where the sun don't shine.
I was determined. Perhaps too much so, it seems. And my makeover vigor turned sour when my Extreme Dusting left you maimed. I didn't mean to snap off your space bar. It was an accident. Don't you believe me?
And I tried to make things better between us. I consulted experts who I hoped might take you in for counselling/repair. But they rejected you. I'm sorry for that. I took you to Mexico so you might enjoy the sunshine. But my efforts were in vain. You were broken. We, laptop. We were broken.
I had lost all hope. I really had. I thought our bond was irreparably broken.
Because lo and behold, here you are again, safe in my arms. Keys intact. Screen glossy. Mousepad shiny. How glad I am to have you back on my knee. Keeping me warm in the cold northern evenings. Whispering sweet whirrings to me as you lay beside me at night.
How I've missed you, laptop. And I'm forever glad you've come back to me.
And I promise, next time you need a little “freshing up” I'll buy a container of compressed air. I can't bear to be apart again.