Here it is!
The first blog swap entry for my blog.
I want a ring. There, I said it! I want a giant diamond to wear on my left ring finger, a ring with which I can casually blind others as the light glints off its perfect, dazzling surface. Oh, and it gets worse. I also want the proposal. I want my boyfriend to come up with a romantic idea, to buy a ring he thinks I will love, and to pull it all off in a spectacularly surprising way. But I want him to want to do it. I want him to want to marry me, to proclaim his love so grand that he couldn't think of anyone else he'd rather spend his days with. Not that I don't think that's already true. Not that I think some shiny rock is going to make our love any more real. Still: I want it. Bad.
When I hear stories about others getting engaged I am engulfed in a bonfire of jealousy. Does it diminish my happiness for other couples engagements that I am still ringless after twenty-nine years? Yes! It does! I want to hear my friend's engagement stories but only so that I can compare how sad my ring finger is compared to theirs. One of my close friends went off to Italy last week for vacation with her boyfriend and I was completely convinced she was going to come back with a beautiful ring and I actually felt physically relieved when I discovered that she did not. Partly because I do not want to be in another wedding, but mostly because I am a huge jerk. I kept thinking, why should SHE be engaged before me? Even though I know in my mind how unfair that statement is.
The worst was when I found out that my former best friend was engaged. That would be the former best friend who made my life a living hell when my boyfriend moved three hundred miles from his home to be with me because she was no longer the center of attention at all moments. I kept telling myself, good for her, she finally found someone who likes her insane clinginess, but it was no use. I am actually angry that she is going to be married before me. The girl that never had a boyfriend in her life, who made me feel like a jerk when MY boyfriend moved here, who told me it was a bad idea for my boyfriend and I to live together after only a year of dating, THAT girl is engaged. To a man who lives six hundred miles away. To a man she met 8 months ago. To a man she has never lived with, never had any kind of interaction with other than a few long weekends here and there.
More to the point, he asked her. He liked her enough to ask her to be his wife, despite her patronizing manner, the fact that she's a know-it-all, and the fact that she willingly abandoned a ten-year friendship because she couldn't have her way. He gave her a ring. (An ugly ring, but still.) And I know neither of them is any big prize. They're both pretentious enough to be very well-suited to each other. I just keep thinking how has someone asked HER, but no one has asked me?
No, seriously: why hasn't he asked me yet?
Here it is!