Blog swap...

Here it is!
The first blog swap entry for my blog.


I want a ring. There, I said it! I want a giant diamond to wear on my left ring finger, a ring with which I can casually blind others as the light glints off its perfect, dazzling surface. Oh, and it gets worse. I also want the proposal. I want my boyfriend to come up with a romantic idea, to buy a ring he thinks I will love, and to pull it all off in a spectacularly surprising way. But I want him to want to do it. I want him to want to marry me, to proclaim his love so grand that he couldn't think of anyone else he'd rather spend his days with. Not that I don't think that's already true. Not that I think some shiny rock is going to make our love any more real. Still: I want it. Bad.

When I hear stories about others getting engaged I am engulfed in a bonfire of jealousy. Does it diminish my happiness for other couples engagements that I am still ringless after twenty-nine years? Yes! It does! I want to hear my friend's engagement stories but only so that I can compare how sad my ring finger is compared to theirs. One of my close friends went off to Italy last week for vacation with her boyfriend and I was completely convinced she was going to come back with a beautiful ring and I actually felt physically relieved when I discovered that she did not. Partly because I do not want to be in another wedding, but mostly because I am a huge jerk. I kept thinking, why should SHE be engaged before me? Even though I know in my mind how unfair that statement is.

The worst was when I found out that my former best friend was engaged. That would be the former best friend who made my life a living hell when my boyfriend moved three hundred miles from his home to be with me because she was no longer the center of attention at all moments. I kept telling myself, good for her, she finally found someone who likes her insane clinginess, but it was no use. I am actually angry that she is going to be married before me. The girl that never had a boyfriend in her life, who made me feel like a jerk when MY boyfriend moved here, who told me it was a bad idea for my boyfriend and I to live together after only a year of dating, THAT girl is engaged. To a man who lives six hundred miles away. To a man she met 8 months ago. To a man she has never lived with, never had any kind of interaction with other than a few long weekends here and there.

More to the point, he asked her. He liked her enough to ask her to be his wife, despite her patronizing manner, the fact that she's a know-it-all, and the fact that she willingly abandoned a ten-year friendship because she couldn't have her way. He gave her a ring. (An ugly ring, but still.) And I know neither of them is any big prize. They're both pretentious enough to be very well-suited to each other. I just keep thinking how has someone asked HER, but no one has asked me?

No, seriously: why hasn't he asked me yet?


Anonymous February 27, 2008 at 10:21 AM  

Ooh...I MIGHT know who you are. But I won't guess and I won't tell.

It's hard to watch other people celebrate milestones you want to be celebrating. We try to be magnanimous, but it's hard!

Good luck working through that...and getting engaged.

Sauntering Soul February 27, 2008 at 11:17 AM  

Although I don't know who you are, I do hope you get your ring and live happily ever after with your boyfriend.

lizgwiz February 27, 2008 at 11:18 AM  

I'm sure he's just busy planning the spectacular method of asking, and picking out the perfect ring. Fingers crossed!

-R- February 27, 2008 at 11:30 AM  

I am sure you know this, but it doesn't mean he doesn't love you just because he hasn't proposed. I hope that it happens for you!

Courtney February 27, 2008 at 12:06 PM  

I am so totally with you on this, so much that I wish I had written on this topic for Blog Share too. We've been together 7 years! Living together for 4! And still not engaged! WHY?

Elise February 27, 2008 at 2:21 PM  

I love it that you admit that when our friends get something we want, it DOES diminish our happiness for them. Everyone always says that it doesn't and then I'm left wondering why I'm such a jerk.

Here's to you and your future sparkly ring!

abbersnail February 27, 2008 at 4:56 PM  

I'm proud of you for saying it out loud to everyone.

And just remember: at least your man doesn't love puns.

Anonymous February 27, 2008 at 6:33 PM  

Even though I was sooo not ready to get married when my competitive friend got engaged, I was still SOOOO jealous. I understand the feeling, and I imagine it is even more so when you actually are ready to get married. Hope it happens soon for you!

Anonymous February 27, 2008 at 8:40 PM  

Remember that old song by the Georgia Satellites.

Hang in there

I got a little change in my pocket going jingle lingle ling
Want to call you on the telephone baby I give you a ring
But each time we talk I get the same old thing
Always no huggin no kissin until I get a wedding ring
My honey my baby dont put my love upon no shelf
She said dont give no lies and keep your hands to yourself

Cruel baby baby baby why you want to treat me this way
You know Im still your lover boy I still feel the same way
Thats when she told me a story bout free milk and a cow
And she said no huggin no kissin until I get a wedding vow
My honey my baby dont put my love upon no shelf
She said dont hand me no lies and keep your hands to yourself

You see I wanted her real bad and I was about to give in
Thats when she started talkin true love started talkin about sin
I said honey Ill live with you for the rest of my life
She said no huggin no kissin until you make me your wife
My honey my baby dont put my love on no shelf
She dont hand me no lies and keep your hands to yourself.

Because if you don't, this might happen to him someday.

True Story from Houston Medical Center

A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his little Dickie.

According to the Nurse attending, the patient's girl friend found the ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his little Dickie while he was asleep.

I don't know what's worse:

1) Having your girl friend find out you're married
2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your little DIckie
3) Or finding out your little DIckie fits through your wedding ring !

All the best lol

Noelle February 27, 2008 at 9:45 PM  

Oh, jeez, I hope it wasn't because he was hanging out with my ex-boyfriend. I really didn't want to break up because I was holding out for the engagement and breaking up meant starting over. But I did, and now I'm back to the beginning. So, it could be worse.

I wonder, have you talked about it? Does he know you feel this way? And if so, what does he say? And like it did for me, does it feel like a completely ridiculous reason?

Stefanie February 27, 2008 at 10:29 PM  

I'm wondering the same thing as Noelle--whether you've talked about it. Because I *think* I might know who you are (though of course, I could obviously be wrong), and I never would have guessed you felt this way! That probably means nothing, as clearly just because you haven't rattled on about something on your blog doesn't mean it's not something you're thinking about or something you've talked about with your boyfriend. I don't really know what my point is here. Just that I'm sure he loves you, and give it time. Good luck.

Anonymous February 27, 2008 at 10:55 PM  

Can I just say?? I have been married a while.. and it wears off. I don't mean to discount your desire, but it's about WAYYY more than the ring. I see so many girls torture themselves for "the ring" and the "proposal" and they forget that after that, comes "THE MARRIAGE" and the years and years of being with the same man. Are you ready for that? Is HE ready for that? Marriage is way more than a ring, or a moment, or a dress, or cake. Marriage is forever, and it's hard. It's wonderful, and can be amazing, but it's work. Just had to throw that in..

Allie March 1, 2008 at 9:55 AM  

Aw! I hope you get exactly what you want very soon!

Some guys just need a kick in the pants.