Emo kid

Today was a rough day.

I don't know if it was just the stress over moving, or buying all the same groceries I feel like I've bought a million times before, that I just end up throwing out weeks/months later because I'm picking up and moving AGAIN...

Or that my stupid laundry detergent opened in my suitcase...

Or my body wash exploded in my other suitcase...(So now one smells like tide, and the other like banana coconut)

Or that my little dream puppy was a scam...and I'm a bit heartbroken...

Or that a man tore me apart for "only" having a Canada Goose jacket, saying it wasn't warm enough, and that it will get -80 incl. the wind chill... my dear beautiful jacket that I spent way too much money on...it was like he was telling me to go home, that I wasn't prepared for what was to come, that I wasn't tough enough for it. I didn't even know what to do. I just smiled and fought back tears. Not knowing what to say.

Or that I am so exhausted of moving to a new place and trying to meet new people, make new friends. I've done this too damn much in the past six months. In the past year. It's just too much.

I just want to be surrounded by people who know me, who know I'm a neurotic klutzy freak, who "get me"...

Just for a bit.

Just for a day. Okay? Ok.

It's time for a constant. Something that is comfortable. And I don't even know what that is. I think I just want one of my parents to make me supper. Dad's mac 'n' cheese would be nice. Or just to sit on the couch with mom and watch some crime drama I don't normally follow. Or make icing for one of DD's creations. I just want comfort right now, and that's hard because I feel so lost.

I'm just being a sook, I know it. I haven't even given this place a try, and I will, and I'm sure I'll like it. I'm just exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally, transit-ion-ally, pupp-ily.

Anyone know how to play this reaaaally tiny violin?


Kara and Matt October 15, 2007 at 7:49 PM  

Moved again? Out of the nice cat-lady-decorated apartment?

And I giggled at your misfortune with the luggage. Sorry, but it was really funny! So what was with the guy saying that a Canada Goose wasn't warm enough? I have been outside in -73C windchill and I was just fine in mine. So he was just a nard and you should have kicked him in the shins.

Don't worry, you will be all settled in in no time. :)

Jackie S October 15, 2007 at 8:06 PM  

nope, unfortunately I have moved INTO the cat-lady apartment to stay.

my thoughts = not-so-coherent today

Anonymous October 15, 2007 at 8:40 PM  

i'm totally with you on the need to be surrounded by people who "get me"... People should automaticall get that I'm quiet, i'm sarcastic, and i make stupid corny jokes about clowns and pirates. Deal with it.

And yes, I definitely agree that relocating and starting completely over more than 2 times in less than 6 months can SUCK. I may play a normal-sized violin for you instead of the teeny-tiny one... that is, if I knew how to play...

I miss you so much it hurts sometimes!

J Consortium October 15, 2007 at 9:00 PM  

It does suck moving a lot, but you're here now so things should settle down.

I'm appalled that someone would diss the Canada Goose parkas. They are probably the best parkas sold anywhere on earth. Whenever you see arctic or antarctic explorations, they're always wearing Canada Goose! There are people who say homemade parkas are warmer, but until I own a homemade one that rivals the warmth and the length of mine (mine goes past my knees) or its amazing down-filled hood, I am going with Canada Goose. Our parkas have never failed us.

Also, the windchill never went to -80 last year, and if it did, it was a day where everything was shut down and you'd be a moron to go outside anyway (haha). I'm pretty sure the coldest it got with windchill was -60.

We had a few things break and open in our stuff too. An aersol can of Pam sprayed in our luggage for who knows how long. It's still greasy in there and it doesn't smell like Tide. :)

If it makes you feel any better, I spent my first day here panicked that I wouldn't like it, either.


P.S. I'd be happy to show you around town if you haven't gotten the dime tour yet! hehe

Jackie S October 15, 2007 at 9:09 PM  

Kara & Jaime,

Thanks for the support re: the jacket. I don't know why I got my knickers all in a twist over it, but I think it was just the straw that broke the camel's back etc.

Like, dude. You are just jealous because I look HOT in my jacket and you look like a synthetic turd.


Let's both move to Hawaii okay? Ok. Then we can tell pirate jokes and be witty together. And I'll trip over things, and you'll make a sarcastic comment. Deal.

Jaime: I will take my tide spill over pam any day. No fun. And I had my freakout this afternoon shortly after arriving, and standing in my new bedroom, looking at the furniture that wasn't mine, and the valences that were not my style and just was like "what am I thinking. I can't do this!"

Apparently impersonal furniture does that to me.

And YES I need to do a tour. Because I was driven from the airport to my apartment... and somehow detoured past the CBC on the way... and am somehow expected to make my way back to work tomorrow morning... and so yah that will be an adventure.

So if you see a twenty-something sized Jackie-sicle wandering the roads of Rankin.... you'll know what happened.


J Consortium October 15, 2007 at 9:43 PM  


Do you have a map? I can show you on a Google map (it shows the roads!) where I believe you live and where the CBC building is.

Do you want the dime tour tomorrow? Haha, I can meet you either at your work or your house and we can go for a walk. Jeff will be out of town, but I'll be here!

Rob & Tina October 16, 2007 at 9:45 AM  

I'm totally jealous. Not only do you have a Canada Goose that I'm sure you took TOTALLY hot in, you get to meet Jaime BEFORE I do! I've known her longer!! LOL
When we first moved here, I panicked for the first week. We got in Friday at suppertime and Rob went to work Saturday morning, leaving me with boxes everywhere and 2 kids. My first 2 weeks I had a phone bill of almost 100.00! And you're right about the blog, use it for everything. I have ours to keep our family and friends updated on what's going on, but I use it also to wallow and whine so I can get kick a good swift kick in the butt, literally and figuratively! AND, since you're now there, you can take pictures of the Northern there, maybe a picture of you IN your sexy Canada Goose! :)

Kate Nova October 16, 2007 at 5:58 PM  

Don't let the jerks get ya down (or the terrible wallpaper).

Kennie October 16, 2007 at 7:27 PM  


Hang in there! I went through a similar experience when I moved up to Arctic Bay. I was tired (I arrived at 2am after being stuck in Iqaluit for 8 hours), I didn't have any of my belongings (other than a survival pack with a couple days worth of clothes), and I didn't have a phone to call home to let my mother know I arrived there in one piece. So what does a fellow twenty-something do? Go to the RCMP and have a mini crisis (another great team to get to know if you can .. especially if you don't have wheels where you're at).

Now that my stuff is here, and that I've settled in, I feel a hell of a lot better and do realize that my thoughts of "what did I get myself into" were, well... warranted, but I didn't have anything to worry about. The community here helped me get adjusted and sorted out.

Oh, and Canada Goose Parkas rock.

Jen October 17, 2007 at 1:11 AM  

Whatever! I can't believe someone said that to you? I don't know about you but I am not into being cold just to be cool! Wear whatever you want to! Minus 80 my A@$! This must also be a new person to the north! Someone who wants to look like he knows everything about living north, he'll find out later what frost bite is!

LOL Go to the RCMP detachment like Kennie says, but go to ooogle men in uniforms...haha I wonder if they have any single members over there? Jamie might know because she worked there.