Jackie's Angst-giving

I am inexplicably angsty today.

My laptop keyboard is too warm, it is making my hands sweat. My apartment is too dirty, but I don't feel like cleaning it. I don't have any clothes, but washing them feels too much a bother.

Hopefully I will snap out of this asap. Tonight is Joanne's goodbye party/potluck. And then Kevin has promised/made me promise to go to the legion.

I think I'm just a little sad that I'm not home for Thanksgiving. I know I was just home a couple weeks ago, but this is actually the first year ever that I won't be with my family at Thanksgiving. Its not like its a big to-do at my place, but I just, I absolutely love the way my family cooks Thanksgiving dinner.

Enough potatoes to feed and army. A giant turkey, expertly carved by dad, with a bowl of warm cranberry sauce nestled in-between the white and dark meat. The parsnip/carrot mix. Sweet potatoes. Turnips mom's way, with just a dash of brown sugar. Oh god. My grandmother's to-die-for stuffing (that I can't, no matter how hard I try, replicate). And my own personal addition, squash a la Jackie -- usually straight from the garden.

I have to be honest. I love Thanksgiving. Our Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners are basically the exact same, but there seems to be so much more pressure around Christmas. Thanksgiving is more relaxed. And that works for me.

I've been invited by Joanne to a turkey-day potluck on Monday, where there will be probably most of the things I mentioned. But there's something to be said for the anticipation surrounding Nan's stuffing, and knowing exactly what it will taste like when I mash my potatoes and turnips together. It's a comfort thing. And I'll miss it.

Maybe I'll just have to go to Arctic Ventures/the northern and spend a week's per diem on one day's meal. Why not? After all, I DO have a dishwasher (and my parents don't... ah HA! One thing I will not miss this Thanksgiving).